Blog of the century

I feel exactly the same way you do Gelo.. I just realized, everything was "okay", but today I was just like, are you serious? I came to reality. Like it makes me sick also, honestly. I'm going to straight up just disregard the fact that it even happened and just be myself, I'm not going to try and waste my time going out of my way to just make myself gloomy and sad. superficial BULLSHIT.

Like you were totally oblivious, you even knew about what was going on, and neglected what I did, all that happened, like I put no effort, I mean, I was myself, is that enough? As if I wasn't even alive, I'm not going to get all sad over this, but take it as a lesson, so thanks, thank you for the worst stage of my life. Now I know whatssup, it sucks that I still am a poodle and never get at girls, how does that make you think I feel, you knowing me, after all my effort, thanks a bunch, now this is one of the fucking reasons why I'm like that, my self-esteem ever since ruined my social life, I'm becomming shy again, ever since now, ever since that moment today, and all day today, I just had a weird feeling it would become sometime. Like I feel so stupid, I have become 100% self-conscious, I feel bad about minor things, about everything, even though I KNOW I never get mad and always am 24/7 chill and w.e, I just keep it to myself, I think I'm too nice, but it's just me, and I don't know what else to do but not be me, so what's going on..Maybe it's just my fault, I'm too nice, I think too much, even though it just comes naturally, I have no intention of anything anymore, all I'm going to do is just brush it off, and excel. Truly, I'm sorry if I was being myself, and you sought no effort on my part. It just sucks because I feel like I'm a poodle to so much girls, then i feel like whatever, like its my fault, when i have no intention of a real like "get at you" attitude too, like its just friends too, so it's whatever, I'm just gonna chill, and kikcc bakcc. And if you think this is you, all my friends that are girls, no, this is not you whoever is reading this if you think it is, it's really specific.

I just hope that at least I would have been treated with some sort of care, I don't even care, fake, real, little, big, some sort of showing of care would have helped me avoid this truly ridiculously dramatic time in my life, just showing a effort from your part would have made me feel better, even though I know what was ultimately going on, it's not like I'm going to be super sad if it happens, its inevitable because even I know it is going on, just adding to all other things I have in my life, but I play it off, always positive, so I'm not going to stop now, so I'll live my life, you can live yours..

a b0p is a b0p, i know you feel me.. thanks for reading..